The thing is this; when you've had brachytherapy for prostate cancer you have dozens of radioactive "seeds" inserted into the prostate. As you know, (well you do now) the prostate delivers the fluid in which sperm float and so, if you have sex ... when you have sex ... the fluid may possibly contain one or more of these seeds. It's not something that a lady of Gloria's delicate sensibilities wants floating up into her personal areas, not least because it could in theory do her damage.
More practically though, the actual act of ejaculation is likely to bring with it not just seminal fluid, but also a reasonable quantity of blood. If you read the piece on the biopsy previously, you'll know that bloodiness is also a side-effect of that procedure. So, the advice is, wear a condom during lovemaking to spare your lady love the embarrassment of both the blood and the possibility of radioactive contamination.
It's unlikely that you'd spot the seed in the condom, so the best advice is to wrap it in loo roll and then flush it down, twice. So far so good, but back to Gloria in Tesco.
She believed her mission was to ensure that she sourced condoms that could withstand the rigours of radioactive activity. She was, I believe, looking for the brand name "Dunlop" at this point and I think she was expecting to discover something with a hefty tread and a no-nonsense, impermeable membrane, perhaps featuring radiation stickers on it.
In the event, she had to give up because everything had seemed too flimsy for her purposes. When she arrived home I proudly displayed my latest purchase from Amazon - a box of "Thin and sensitive" condoms. Her face was a picture!
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