Radioactive condoms?

Gloria's dedication to my comfort and pleasure knows no bounds and therefore, on a shopping expedition to Tesco, she decided to wander the condom aisle, looking for (in her words) "radioactive condoms".

The thing is this; when you've had brachytherapy for prostate cancer you have dozens of radioactive "seeds" inserted into the prostate. As you know, (well you do now) the prostate delivers the fluid in which sperm float and so, if you have sex ... when you have sex ... the fluid may possibly contain one or more of these seeds. It's not something that a lady of Gloria's delicate sensibilities wants floating up into her personal areas, not least because it could in theory do her damage.

The pre-op before brachytherapy

It was a very cold day as Gloria and I emerged from the car into the multi-storey car park and shivered. We'd taken three quarters of an hour to cross town to the hospital and now, nearly at the top of the parking building, we had to find our way to the radiology and oncology department which was in the basement.

Once there though - Gloria with her computer bag, of course - we settled down for a short wait before a briefing from an enthusiastic young nurse. She wanted to talk all about our sex life, how well I wee and poo and a raft of other conversation items that would never grace a refined dinner table. Totally unfazed, she confidently reassured us about how most problems can be solved and that the operation is all about success. Indeed, the negatives seemed mostly to be about weeing or ejaculating radioactive seeds and the appropriate responses thereto.

Filling the forms before brachytherapy

One thing you get very used to when you begin discussing anything to do with prostate cancer is the level of intimacy that you have to reveal. Nurses and doctors will listen, expressionless, as you discuss the workings of your erections, flow of urine, how well and often you defecate, the importance and extent of your sex life and any manner of other things.

I guess though, when you've had someone shove their finger up your bum or been probed about with MRI or with an ultrasound scanner, there's not much left to reveal about your physical self, other than what you actually do with your body when you're not sprawled on the examination table.

Testing urine flow and prepping your prostate

The thing about your prostate is that it wraps itself around the urethra down which your wee comes from the bladder, before exiting to the outside world via the penis. When all's well, then all is indeed well. However, as you get older, the prostate grows and, as it grows, it can compress the urethra, making you urination more difficult.

For this reason, you'll find that you dribble rather than gush, you may sometimes find it hard to finish a wee and you can also experience "urgency" where you actually find it hard to restrain a wee from coming (usually when you are in sight of a toilet, is my experience!).